WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
