BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
