Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
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