Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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