It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
