you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
