So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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