Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
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hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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