on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
