Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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