why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
