she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
