So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize