Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
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