She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
