well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
