if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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