what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
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sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
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I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
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