i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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