Im at strip club and am horny
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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