either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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