Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
