im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
