Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
