My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
