Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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