The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
