She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
