He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Randomize
