You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
