i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I look better un-naked...
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
