All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize