I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
