Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
