The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
thus making me awesome and them whores
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize