Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
