Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Randomize
