Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
