I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
he high fived his dick after we had sex
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize