last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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