Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
