you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Randomize
