he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
