Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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