Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
