It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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