super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
