very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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