Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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