Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
