Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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