i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
