hotel room ftw
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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