God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
