Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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